You may have noticed a longer lag time between BeBeloved posts of late.
With apologies, I submit that there has been quite a lot happening this summer. Lots of great, wonderful, new things. Tons of adventure. So much to celebrate (and maybe a couple things to mourn). A new apartment, and that healthy sifting of junk that happens when you move. Travel. New job. And another new job makes two.
Put all that beauty and transition against the backdrop of an amazing little 1-year-old flurry of activity, occasionally throwing whatever he’s holding to the ground with the sweetest, cutest, most wonderful little angry face you’ve ever seen (Attempt to look stop chuckling and look stern). Explain to husband that this is not the best song to teach a toddler (Look stern again).
With so much much to celebrate and giggle at, you’d think I would be flying through life leaving only joy in my wake, right? Right?! (Just kidding about that second one. Mostly.)
Here’s the deal: Mommy’s a little exhausted right now. And it’s hard feeling tired and cranky when you know you should be serene and thankful. It’s really not all that surprising though, because every once in a while I have a little trouble remembering things I’ve already learned. One, you know, random example is that during times of change and busyness, it’s easy to crowd out the foundational things that keep you sane. Like reading scripture. And sleep. Turns out both of those things contribute to sanity for this girl. But then I knew that, so why do I keep living like I don’t KNOW that?!!
If you’ve got little kiddos, you may be familiar with Sandra Boynton’s books. Jack loves them. She has a book about moods called Happy Hippo, Angry Duck. It’s a book about moods, and every mood has an animal. (who knew chickens were so sad?) One page says “Or you’re FRAZZLED like a… um… FRAZZLED THING… I’m not sure what it is.” Ben’s made this his slogan for me over the past few weeks. And that helps a little. Imagine Ben with his read-Jack-stories voice asking, “Babe, are you feeling FRAZZLED? Like a, um, FRAZZLED THING?” Don’t forget the flailing gestures.
Thank God for Ben. And for Sandra Boynton, too.
I started writing this post last week on Wednesday. I was sitting in this heavenly little independent coffee shop with a friend, slowing down, getting centered, and writing all about it for you, when my babysitter texted to share with me that my little man was spiking a 103 degree fever. Really. If it didn’t wig me out so much, it would have been just a little bit comical. Like the universe was like, “Oh, we’re not done yet.”
Back to Center
I finished last week with a lot of snuggling; when I wasn’t snuggling with Jack, I volunteered at Willow’s Leadership Summit, which was crazy awesome. Much fun, but not much sleep.
Then Jack started feeling better, and Ben and I took turns over the weekend sleeping all day, which was glorious.
I’m happy to report that, despite my busy week and sick little guy, I stepped into this week RESTED. No, really. I’ve slept. I’ve spent some time just reading and taking care of my soul. We finally found our printer’s power cord (praise God!).
Honestly, my centeredness feels a little precarious still, since we’re still in a new place and finding new rhythms. So I’m engaging my day from a place of remembering. I know how to care for my own soul, I just need to remember to factor that as I’m stepping one foot in front of the other. So for today, I’m breathing deeply.
How about you? Anyone else need to take a deep breath and step back toward center? Join me.